i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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