He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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