Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
