yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
