Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
