Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
