I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
