Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
