i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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