Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
