All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
