So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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