Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
