fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
