I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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