piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Couch. On fire.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
