so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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