If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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