i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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