we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We had to coat check the pizza.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize