who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
wakey wakey hands off snakey
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
