i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
