It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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