Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
