all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
