The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
