I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
