we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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