remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
