I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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