So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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