So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize