it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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