im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
