is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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