FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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