your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
