there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
