I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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