can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
