Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
