She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
