i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize