ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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