if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
