is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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