This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
