I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
