Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
NoShamevember. You game?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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