didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
