Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
