if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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