ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
