The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
