Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
