I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
