You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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