Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
