Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
