Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Vodka?
Forever.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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